What does support look like in a healthy relationship?
A supportive partner encourages you to be the best version of yourself. They celebrate your accomplishments. They don't make you feel guilty for spending time with friends. Unhealthy relationships are based on attempts to control the other person.
Every healthy relationship is built on a bedrock of mutual understanding and emotional support. Being a supportive partner means listening to, caring for, and helping your significant other so they know that you're there for them, no matter what they're going through.
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships
Respect for privacy and space. You don't have to be with your partner 24/7. Your partner encourages you to spend time with friends without them, and to participate in activities that you enjoy. You feel comfortable expressing your opinions and concerns to your partner.
- Being a good listener.
- Showing consideration for your partner.
- Taking time to laugh with your partner.
- Paying attention to your partner.
- Being helpful.
- Having the ability to apologize.
- Being honest.
- Viewing your partner as your teammate.
One partner may feel unsupported when he/she seeks emotional support and the other partner responds in a way that feels invalidating such as by saying, “oh, that's not a big deal” or by refusing to talk to the partner until he/she “calms down”. This can cause a lot of hurt, sadness, and resentment.
In every romantic relationship, you have the right to expect certain “basics.” Affection, compassion, respect, and consideration should be expected in a romantic relationship. You should also expect your partner to share their time, interest, and generosity with you.
- Give them time to share with you. ...
- Practice listening. ...
- Provide reassurance and encouragement. ...
- Remind them of their importance to you. ...
- Offer your help if needed. ...
- Continue to check in on them. ...
- Provide resources for professional help.
Physical support is another essential aspect of a healthy relationship. It shows your partner that you care, and it can create a deep sense of intimacy between you both. By offering physical assistance when your partner is in need, you can build a close bond that enables you both to rely on each other in times of need.
- Ask questions. ...
- Practice active listening. ...
- Respect their feelings. ...
- More physical touch. ...
- Give small gifts. ...
- Be kind in public. ...
- Give compliments. ...
- Go out of your way when your partner is having a bad day.
Emotional support is all about providing affection, reassurance, and encouragement to your partner when you feel like they have had a bad day. A lack of emotional support can make your partner feel unsafe and undesired in your relationship and it can have detrimental effects.
What does a struggling relationship look like?
You and your partner may be arguing a lot, constantly picking fights with each other, and unwilling to patch things up. When you're dealing with constant disagreements, it can lead to anger on both sides. You may try and raise concerns with your partner, but they are dismissed, minimised, denied, or ridiculed.
- Struggling to handle stressors of daily life. ...
- Extreme tiredness or fatigue. ...
- Lack of care for physical appearance or personal hygiene. ...
- Having problems meeting responsibilities at work, or school. ...
- Unexplained absences or disappearances.
A strong and healthy relationship is built on the three C's: Communication, Compromise and Commitment.
For David Richo in his book 'How to be an Adult in Relationships', there are five key elements that all healthy relationships need - attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing. I love discussing these with clients and exploring how each are showing up in their relationship.
Disappointment is a stage of love nearly every serious intimate relationship—probably every one that lasts longer than overnight—has to struggle with. It may strike suddenly or build up slowly, but once the battling begins, it can assume tragic proportions for a couple trying to make a life together.
Summary: Couples having problems are often advised to be more supportive of each other, but a series of studies shows that too much support -- or the wrong kind of support -- may actually do more harm than good.
You and your partner likely have natural differences in emotionally expressiveness and/or sensitivity. Remember, your partner isn't trying to be unsupportive. When your partner does not respond in the way you need, try not to respond with anger, frustration, or other surface emotions that could make your partner react.
Firstly, unsupportive relationships often see the onset of negative health behaviours, including poor diet, reduced quality of sleep, increased use of alcohol and drugs and less physical activity.
Having no support from family and friends can lead to feelings of anger and frustration. Use your anger with the other person to your benefit. Instead of turning your anger inward and beating yourself up for your failings, channel this anger into doing something positive.
But being in an unhealthy relationship negatively affects a young person's wellbeing. They might feel anxious and nervous or not free to make their own decisions. They might have low self-esteem and depression, experience headaches or have other ongoing physical health symptoms (Women's Aid, 2015).
What if your partner is not supportive?
06/7Say it
Before overthinking or lashing on your partner about their behavior, communicate it simply. Talk over a dinner date or morning coffee about how you feel and why you think they are behaving this way. A reason might come up that you can understand without getting into a fight.